Dozen roses
sitting in a vase
wilting away.
$50
Box of chocolates
melting in their
tiny crenelated wrappers.
$45
Bottle of champagne
over-pressured
which shattered the
chandelier upon opening
sending delicate shards
of glass into your sweetheart's
hair and eyes.
$12
Trip to the E.R.
$20 (thanks co-pay!)
The feeling that you
totally missed
her expectations again
this Valentine's day.
PRICELESS.
Fat and docile.
Chubby and slow.
Winged and diapered
he ain't got much to show.
Bow and arrow
hit their mark
but death they do not bring,
what a lark.
Sleek and shadowy.
Legendary and invisible.
Wrapped all in black
only the eyes visible.
Shuriken, knife, sword,
and smoke bomb et al
will spell your doom.
Ninja will be your downfall.
Alak poor Cupid I threw him well.
Wither he went I'm sure he fell
from great heights.
To stand in line
of immeasurable
length.
Pining after
a meal you're
too hungry to eat.
Ah! Young love.
Flowering and
wilting.
Next time, he'll
make reservations.
IF there is a next time.
Black as night.
Sneaking quietly
to and fro.
Delivering sweet death
by chocolate
to a sweetheart near you.
Who said love
doesn't hurt
when the Valentine Ninja is around?
What's that?
Did you just say
I'm off the hook
for Valentines?
Do you mean it?
What a relief!
I didn't have a clue
what to do
for you.
Wait. What's this?
Tears?!?
B-b-b-but you said!!
Aw crap.
Candlelight flickering.
Champagne bubbling.
Scrumptious dinner steaming.
Romantic music drowned out
by the wailing screams of our child.
Yay for Romance.
Please, don't believe in the Love Propaganda,
'Happy love' is as senseless as 'civilised Uganda'.
