To the Thing Known as a Chili Dog

Arteries hardening.
Stomach revolting.
Heart stopping.
Mouth watering.
Bliss, Nirvana, or Shock?

Chili Dog on a Thursday

Oh you look so good!
The light seems to roll over each sause covered bean.
Oh you look so good!
Ketchup oozing out both sides mixing with your wonderful chili.
Oh you look so good!

Acid indigestion.
You don't look quite so good.
Gaseous stomach.
You look worse.
Heartburn. Nausea. Pain.
You bad bad chili dog.

When tomorrow comes I will want you again.
Why, O why do you torment me so?
Because...
Oh you look so good!

Chili Dog Love

This is a love song about a chili-dog . . .
oh so juicy . . .
plump and spicy!
la-la-la-la *barf*

Crime and Punishment

They strung him up
by his toes
for playing with
the fireman's hose.

"Tis unfair," he cried,
"to punish me so.
Who did it harm?"
"Me!" cried some Joe.

"T'was my hose,
and I needed it much
for my dog was on fire
and thus went Dutch."

The crowed jeered,
while women weeped.
"Dutch was my friend!
He was kind and sweet."

So you see my son
how the world goes 'round.
One minute you're playing,
the next you're off the ground.

What? No comments?

I'm hurt.
Profoundly so.
To find my dog
has left the badger
alone
for the night.